Monday, 28 June 2010


Been a little while since i blogged and now noone is reading it because i have set it up as a way of ranting now seeing as I couldn't keep up with blogging with a pain in the arse boyfriend.

Me and Dom are officially OVER! It was a long time coming and ppl do not know whhat goes on behind closed doors. Dont get me wrong the man was not abusive, he is one of the momst nn-violent people I know, it's just that he is soooooo not a man! Imagine if you will that you were in senior school and you had a boyfriend then who didn't talk about his feelings when you wanted to talk to them about your relationship, about how it is failing and wondered if you were the only person in said relationship that thought so and nothing would be said as he was too busy staring at his feet and consequently nothig would be done; that was what it was like being with Dom. I will now pause for a breath.

Bloody hell he was so needy but really all he needed was a mother and it's not as if he isn't close to his actual mother, I just think that she did such a good job looking after him that he does nont know how to look after himself. He can't cook, wash his clothes, pay his bills or even realise when he is in need of a shower let alone know who his doctor is, make regular appointments with the dentist or go to the doctors about what is obviously a fungal infection on his awful smelling feet!!!!!

I know pobody's nerfect but ffs GET A GRIP!

My only consolation was that it was my birthday on sunday and now I am the ripe old age of 26 and have wasted the last near two years of my life with him. I had a great time btw. Josh is still attached to him, he lives with my best friend so that feels a bt weird. I did snog someone after a few jagermeisters. How could I have possibly have let Josh get so attached to someone like that?

That is the sort of thing that my mates are hearing out of me. I start talking about something good but then I get sidetracked by him. I am not a selfish person and do tend to put others in front of me; even the fuckers who I dump so it seems!

I am not bitter that I spent two years with him there were good times; I still have the pictures on my wall from the MSI gig. Now that was a good night even though I thought we weren't going to get in there because Josh had decided to throw up and I wanted to go home to be with him. I'm not bitter that in the last two years I could have found a man and settes down because in the last two years I have changed and am constantly changing. I have met a great bunch oof people who i do not see often enough and have got great and ranging relationships with them all.

I will mention here that about two months ago I cheated on Dom. I kissed a guy from uni. Some people would argue that it was hardly cheating, but I have never done anything of the sort with any of my exes and I know full well that I have been in situations in the past where I have said no to the advances of a guy that was not my boyfriend. I knew i wasn't happy and no matter how many times I told people that me and Dom were doing fine it was always through gritted teeth!

I try to consle myself saying that if I was't happy then he can't have been; you cannot have a one-sided relationship. But we made friends mainly for the fact that i wanted some of my things back and he was telling his housemate and my friend that he had nothing of mine and also that I had ben to their house that morning and he looked as though he was going to cry. He thinks friendship consists of liking a few statuses and commenting on how pretty I look in pictures on Facebook! That is not how things work in the real world. So I added him again on Facebook but such is life, and I am a nosey fucker. But I have had to delete him because he is posting on there, I think, to make me jealous and it's funny because it is a bisexual (greedy in my eyes) girl who he happened to be paart of the reasons why she broke a friends heart in the past, a fact that has only emerged tonight.

That was the straw that broke the camels back! This friend of mine, John, warned me off Dom all that time ago. But I thought that I was big enough to look after myself and make certain decisions for myself. After mentioning this fact to my brother recently, he decided to tell me that I should have listened seriously to his advice because he is a man of knowledge about things like that. Anyway John told me of the stuff that happened with Emma but I have only this evening put the wo together and i will not think of Dom in the same way ever.

To add to this rant I am not looking for another man. I am quite hapy to be on my own but obviously there are certain needs that i have that cannot be met alone. I don't think that these urges would have bothered me half as much until I hit the town last weekend and snogged the face off a guy who I have wanted to snog for a while and then this weekend I ended up in bed with a guy who I was seeing before I actually started going out with Dom. And i threw away my vibrator a few months ago!!!

These men need no introduction because the ex still has my password to this account and I am not changing it as my head is so screwed up I will forget it minutes after I change it. But these guys actually like me when I was going out with Dom they made a point of keeping in touch not steering clear waiting for me to become single (at least I hope they weren't). Dom never made an effoort with me and I always felt that I had two children and I was stressed and ill all of the time which is not good at all. So really the main reson i broke up with him was literally for my health!

I am so lucky that i have a few VERY good friends who have listened and slagged off where appropriate.

It seems to be getting late so I will stop this now and head off to my bed Josh has nursery tomorrow and I have to staart thinking about packing for my uni tripp to Penrith.